According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the typical symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) include; depression, lack of energy, increased need for sleep, a craving for sweets, starchy foods, revenge, spicy foods, salty foods, President's Choice Smokin' Ribs, boxed wine, sparkling wine, holy wine, Gilmore Girl reruns, sending child off to live with cannibalistic Bible-thumping hypocrites (Catholics), Cheesies, calling old boyfriends and hanging up, Peanut Buster parfaits, ethnic foods, margueritas, Rueben sandwiches, coconut cream pie, an unyielding desire to kick small children, oh, and weight gain.
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