As usual, a most undeserving person with a healthy bank account won the trip to Boston – but the good news is: Mary Ryan of Halifax is the lucky winner of the $50 Flaunt Salon gift certificate – and no one is more deserving, and in need of a trip to the salon than Mary Ryan.
Wait, that didn't come out right.
What I meant to say is, Mary, you look great, and a trip to the spa will only enhance that inner beauty of yours – not that you don't have any outer beauty – I'm just sayin', who doesn't step out of a salon feeling like a new person, or at least half the person you used to be in high school? And by that I don't mean those 40 or so extra lbs you carted around after that incident in Grade Ten. For some of us, those high school years were rough (and drug induced) but Mary, I hear you were a real babe back in the day – Christ, I heard you dated the entire football team, or was it basketball? No... come to think of it, it must have been the hockey team, what with you wanting to hide that skin thing under a heavy parka. Nevermind Mary, I heard you rocked it, so if you don't mind me askin', "what the hell happened?" I mean, well, not that you aren't a picture of perfection now, because that cruel prick Father Time has been pretty good to you considering... oh, fuck it.
Enjoy Flaunt Mary.
Thank you to everyone who supported The Little Bastard.