Thursday, November 19, 2009

Like white on Rice.

Last night's torch lighting in Havenot was a rip roarin' success, and apparently had nothing whatsoever to do with Condoleezza Rice's decision to RSVP: "No way in hell, uh uh, ain't comin" to next month's cleverly named, A Conversation with Condoleezza Rice event, scheduled for December 10th.

Event organizers claim it was their decision – not Ms. Rice's – and had nothing to do with last night's Twitter message from the government-operated Come to Life propaganda website proclaiming in 140 characters or less: HRM– You're so fucking white!

Way to roll out the welcome mat, Halifax Regional Municipality – twin city of Backofthebus, Mississippi. Even Sidney Crosby looked narrow minded in his white hat.

Damn, and I was so looking forward to forking out $139 to $899 just for the opportunity to stand up in question period and ask, "Hey, Condo... George Bush? What the fuck were you thinkin', girlfriend?" The man had a jockey on the White House lawn.

Nevermind. Lucky for us there are a few tickets remaining for tomorrow night's thought-provoking performance by Buddy Wasisname and The Other Fellers at Dal's Rebecca Cohn Theatre. Plus, I am pissing myself in anticipation of all the jumping up and down, because the Amethyst Scottish Dancers will be flipping their kilts on November 29th. And wait, there's reason to go on living, because Tommy Hunter will be on the Dalhousie stage January 17th, which is a fucking miracle because I think Tommy is actually dead.

For those of you with painfully boring lives, who feel it is necessary to entertain your little bastards 'round-the-clock lest they miss one Montessori moment before piano lessons, Franklin the clearly gay Turtle will be here with his gal pal, Beaver on March 13th. Beaver is a person of colour, just so you know in advance.

So much worth coming to life for here in Havenot. Who needs to sit through an evening with a vibrant, Stanford-educated woman, with a past worth talking about, when we can all chuckle along with Buddy Wasisname, tapping our Clark's crepe soles to hits like: Peein' in the Snow, Cryin' my Arse Off, and Flies in the Beer.

It's a good thing Elton John got in and out of here, before Come to Lifers could twat, er, Tweet: HRM– you're so colonial and middle-class heterosexual it isn't even funny!

For tickets to exciting Rebecca Cohn events go to:
For tickets to see Art Garfunkel at the Metro Centre, I hear Art will be handing them out at the door.