Saturday, June 20, 2009

Now, sweetheart, look at the camera and say "frozen cheese burritos". And can you suck your cheeks in a bit. Now hide behind the door. That's it.

I had to laugh when I saw something in this morning's Horrid. No, not our new NDP Premier doing his best Barney Rubble on the front page. That made me cry actually. The ridiculous thing I saw was in Section F.

On the front page of Section F is an article about fashion retailers finally embracing curvy women. (Anyone with breasts and hips.) The chosen photo for the article shows a very pretty, and pretty normal looking, "plus" size young woman wearing a trendy, feminine-looking frock. No big deal, only they have her posed next to a giant refrigerator in a grocery store. Why a grocery store? They've even captured her posing with the fridge door open. And she has a glazed-over expression on her cherubic face, like, if no one is looking she's gonna lean in and start scarfing back frozen french fries like a pig rooting for truffles. Apparently F is for fucking stupid and insensitive. Who was the size 0 art director on this photo shoot?

Yep, they are embracing curvy women all right. Embracing so hard they're squeezing the self-esteem right out them. Er, us.

I was a curvy woman, embracing all things South Shore yesterday. We headed home via Chester, where I had yet another "meeting", only this time with Elaine and Derek, owners of The Rope Loft.

We arrived at prime time and I slowed down just enough so the boys could scramble out and grab the last table out on the dock. This is the coveted seat for Rope Loft dining, not only because dogs are welcome out there, but, when seated at this comfy table for 4, you are so close to the water, the next table over is on a boat.

The Rope Loft, while one of the prettiest spots in the province, has never been known for mind- blowing food. Well we can scrap that old news. They have a new chef and he is my new hero. The food this year is as spectacular as the scenery. No shit.

I have been craving mussels for weeks now, so I was thrilled when Jack's friend Chief said he'd share some with me to start. Soon after they arrived, I wanted to shove Chief into the harbour so I could eat them all myself. The mussels were fresh and plump, but the sauce they were swimming in was orgasmic. A tomato base, with garlic, fresh herbs and chunks of spring onions. There wasn't enough bread to soak it all up, so I used a spoon. It was that good.

Jack of course wouldn't try the mussels, and he stuck to his beige food mantra, ordering fish & chips. I wisely followed the mussels with the Seafood Crepe.

Hang on for a moment while I mop up the drool just thinking about it.

There, that's better.

My crepe arrived, and it wasn't one of those tubular crepes with a teensy little shrimp curled up in the fetal position. This was a hefty, plus-size crepe folded up and over bulging fistfuls of fleshy, big-girl scallops, hunks of lobster and size 14 shrimp. All accessorized with a wonderful, creamy curry sauce.

I'm no food writer, but I eat enough crap to know when my taste buds have been truly enlightened. The portions were so chubby, we didn't even have room for the praline pecan/dark chocolate combo that Chief and I were going to go sharesies on. If dessert was as good as the main attraction, that kid would have been swimming for sure.

I am trying to think of an excuse to go back down there for another round. I should have left something behind. Like my child. Or the dogs.

So here's to curvy women who eat. If being model skinny means skipping lunch at the Rope Loft then pass me the plus-size panties.

F is for "who fucking cares, life is short, flabby is fabulous, and I am starving".

Take my picture while I am eating though, and I'll chew your arm off.

The Rope Loft is located in Chester's Front Harbour by the Tancook Ferry Dock.
For hours and a peek at the new menu go to 902.275.3430.
Take a sweater, it can get breezy.