Me: Could I have a medium coffee double cream, please.
Timmy: Medium coffee double cream. Did you want a hash brown with that?
Me: A hash brownie?
Timmy: No, ma'am. Would you like a hash brown with that?
Me: Hash brown? Who the fuck wants a hash brown with their coffee at 12:30 in the afternoon? A hash brownie makes more sense.
Timmy: So, that's no to the hash brown.
Timmy: That'll be $2.14 drive through please.
Me: Wait a minute, how can it be $2.14 for a medium coffee?
Timmy: You also ordered a hash brown, ma'am.
Me: No, I did not. I said yes in response to your question regarding the hash brown.
Timmy: So, no hash brown?
Timmy: Yes, to a hash brown, ma'am?
Me: No. No to the hash brown, but on second thought, I'll have the hash brownie – that is, if you have any left – and don't call me ma'am.
Timmy: So that's a medium coffee, double cream and a hash brown. $2.14. Drive through please.
Me: (Driving away empty handed, but with a Sunday tale to tell) Expletive, followed by another expletive.
Do yourself a favour and head to the drive through at Steve O'Reno's Cappuccino 2854 Robie Street (Piercey's parking lot).